"Down and Dirty" on CNN

Re: The Ashley Treatment debate:

I am, like most of us, a very strong believer in our right as individuals to have an opinion and to be able to express it.   With that comes the understanding that I may not always like what I hear - or read.  The saying "let's agree to disagree" can often be a useful tool to allow us to move on.  No one needs to quit;  no one needs to abandon principles; we can still argue for what we believe in.  But when we start slinging mud around, in my opinion, that's when the dignity and purpose behind the *argument* is lost.

Benny made an appearance on CNN last night to argue in defense of Ashley's parents and on behalf of like-minded people everywhere.  I don't think he did them any favor.  On his blog, he expresses his frustration.  He starts his post by saying "I feel like I failed".  Read more here in his post "Crap"

In my opinion, he did fail, not by what he didn't say, but by what he did.  He failed the moment he expressed his willingness to get "down and dirty".   I'm sorry  Bennie, but you've lost me.

In contrast, read what David said in response to some very emotionally charged comments to his post:

"I appreciate the comments on this sensitive issue which opens wounds in me and I imagine in others, too. Perhaps we can agree to work for better support services for those of us with disabilities and our family caregivers."

That is what my husband Steve, in his wisdom,  would call an "emotionally intelligent" response. 

Bennie would rather get down and dirty.

And in another emotionally intelligent response, someone named "Lee" left this comment on David's blog (in response to the David's comment above):
 

"Wow - having a blog sure opens yourself up for some abrasive, challenging, and strong words from others.

David, I really like that you are shifting the focus to what we can all agree on, regardless of how our "impassioned" positions on this topic may differ.

Hang in there, maintain your important voice, and remember the words of Dr. King: 'We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline' - regardless of how others may try to bait you or conduct themselves."

I don't know what Lee's opinion is on this whole subject matter.  But both David and Lee have convinced me, in their refusal to get "down and dirty", that whether or not I agree with their views, I am willing to listen.

And to you Ben and Bennie, and to all folks on both sides of this issue, I wish you well. 

~ Connie

 

Comments

[Janet Gayes]

Thanks for the thoughtful post, Connie.
By the way, the other parent (with her son) on CNN last night was Dreammom at dreammom.blogspot.com
Janet

[Connie]

Oh yes! Janet, thank you for the reminder. I'll pop over there to say hi.

[Bennie]

You obviously have made your opinion known. The mud-slinging began when folks on "your side" - the people opposed to The Ashley Treatment - called Ashley's family barbarians, mutilators, lazy, unfit to be parents. When you tell it like it is then it's not "mud-slinging."

Add the fact that the media and people like you have launched a massive onslaught of misinformation about The Ashley Treatment through blogs, discussion forums, and news services then I say YOU'RE the ones playing dirty.

When all this started I honestly wanted people to know all the facts about this story. I still do. As I told the producers of Paula's show I wanted healthy discussion to raise awareness about the plight we exceptional parents face. I even linked to Dream Mom's blog and her opinion which falls on the opposite side of mine. She did not reciprocate. That told me everything I needed to know about her opinion.

You along with several others of the same opinion then came to my blog and I will admit somewhat kindly pointed me in the direction of David's site, most of which is anti-treatment. I do want to add that it was a nice touch to talk about my artwork and how you were interested in a possible purchase.

When I read the response by David where he used the term "sacrosanct" (you might want to look up it's meaning) in description of the autonomy (ah, another big word) of a disabled persons body, that's when I used the phrases "Nazi" and "uneducated."

As the wonderful blog "Special & Needy" has said so well, there is no black & white, right or wrong here. There are just many shades of gray. One of my brothers is a lawyer and I don't particularly like that profession. For other parents of special needs kids to debase Ashley's parents is akin to me calling my brother a criminal. First it's unjustified but more importantly I'm alienating my own family member from someone he loves and needs.

For people living with a disability, unless you had some pretty crappy parents, for YOU to chastise Ashley's folks is biting the hand that feeds. You are showing an ungrateful and selfish attitude to those of us who have suffered with you, for you, and in some case moreso than you ever have.

So let me ask you, Connie; who has played dirty?

[Connie]

"Down and dirty" were your words sir, not mine. I don't expect you to believe this, but when I first stumbled on your site, very early in this great "debate", I honestly liked what I saw, especially what appeared to be a real father-son bond shared through, among other things, artwork. I commented on it because I appreciated what I was looking at. I said I'd be back - I didn't say I'd buy anything. For you to assume that I had motives of some kind is interesting to me. I had no idea that by saying hello on your blog I'd be lumped into a category labeled "people like you"...

You seem to assume a lot of things about a lot of people. I'm sorry you're such an angry man. You must be exhausted as it takes a lot of energy to be so angry.

Take care of yourself Bennie. As I said earlier in my post: "And to you Ben and Bennie, and to all folks on both sides of this issue, I wish you well."

P.S. Feel free to look around. You'll not find a mean, sarcastic, post from me anywhere. Saying that "getting down and dirty" (again, your words)is "just plain dirty" (my words) is about as low as I'll go!

Having said that, I'm moving on...

[Georgia Whitney]

It's not always easy to take the high road on this or any controversial issue, but you have, and I urge you to continue it. Great job, Miss C.

Georgia

[Connie]

Indeed I will. Thank you, Miss G.

[Hugh Hughes]

I see my pro-Bennie post was deleted. By taking this tactic, you can assure a victory by numbers. I wonder how many others have hit the same wall.

[Connie]

Dear Mr. Hughes,

Welcome to the Planet of the Blind. We have deleted a total of two comments since starting this blog - both yesterday and both by the same person. I assure it wasn't you. There is another post from you under "TV Land". Perhaps that is the one you are looking for?

[Blue]

I can't find Bennie's blog, so perhaps he deleted it. I mean this sincerely -- that is a shame.

[Bennie]

I did not delete any of my posts. Connie admitted that she did that.